Dear concerned citizens of Earth,
I may not speak for all of you, but I (for one) have had quite enough of a certain bass player's offensive verbiage. It's not enough that the man can't be seen onstage in a decent pair of pants, his foul language is a full frontal attack on all that is pure and sacred. Last Friday, everyone was having a great time, feeling good, laughing, dancing, drinking in full Gorilla mode, when they were blindsided by the utterance of a word so horribly unspeakable that the very thought of it fills me with so much revulsion that it makes me want to wretch. Heads exploded. Children cried. A nation mourned for the days of decency and propriety. God cried up in his heaven. Oh the humanity!!! That terrible evil word was...was...
"masturbation."
Oh the horror! I'm sorry if anyone was injured out there in Gorilla Land by the sight of that loathsome word, but I thought it necessary to illustrate the auditory abuse that was visited upon those poor Gorilla fans that were in attendance by Satan’s own Crusher Carmean. For shame, Crusher. For shame.
What?
No, he didn't do it. He just said it.
Is that not enough???
And so in the interest of putting this vile obscene incident behind us…
this Saturday’s show will be a family friendly event.
There will be no mention of masturbation.
Your loss...
Saturday, June 30
6:30 pm
Asbury Park Jazzfest
Bradley Park (aka Atlantic Square Park)
200 Sunset Ave
Asbury Park, New Jersey