Fifty Shades of Gorilla


The door opens and Joe Gorilla breezes in, ignoring me completely. I lie in waiting, arms and hands tied together like some helpless steer waiting to be marked by his red hot poker. Placing his hat on the large chest beside the door, he walks on his knuckles casually toward the bed. I indulge myself in a quick glimpse at him and my heart almost lurches to a gag reflex. He's naked except for that kilt, top button casually undone. Flies buzzing over head. Devil may care demeanor. Jeez, he looks so freaking furry. Kind of disgusting, but in a sexy way. What a beast! My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some clichéd primal carnal rhythm, like something you'd imagine an inner goddess would writhe to. She's so ready. I lick my lips instinctively. He licks his. My blood pounds through my body, thick and heavy with salacious juiciness. What is he going to do to me?

Turning, he nonchalantly waddles back to the chest of drawers. Opening one, he pulls out a bunch of bananas. My curiosity burns, blazes even as he pulls one ripe banana from the bunch. He comes to stand in front of me, like a hairy god or some other ridiculous metaphor. I see the yellow fruit in his hand and want to eat every inch of it. He begins to peel it, one strand at a time, pausing every so often, as if I weren't even there. What a tease! He then eats the banana, belches in my general direction, farts, and climbs out the window. Hot!

Upcoming events:

Friday, August 24
7:30 pm
Grounds For Sculpture
18 Fairgrounds Road, Hamilton, New Jersey
Purchase tickets in advance to avoid a park admission fee. Call 609-586-0616, Tuesday–Sunday, 10 am–6 pm. Advance purchase ends August 23rd @ 5 pm.

Saturday, August 25
4:30 pm – 6:00 pm
North River Blues Festival


Saturday, September 1
9:00 pm
GOTTASWING DANCE!
Glen Echo Park Bumper Car Pavilion: Glen Echo, MD

Thursday, September 6
8:00 pm
THE SOUTHERN HOSTILITY TOUR!
Court Street Grill: 112 Court Street, Pomeroy, Ohio

Friday, September 7
10:00 pm
THE SOUTHERN HOSTILITY TOUR!
Bourbon St. Blues & Boogie Bar: 220 Printer's Alley, Nashville, TN

Saturday, September 8
10:00 pm
THE SOUTHERN HOSTILITY TOUR!
Bradfordville Blues Club: 7152 Moses Lane, Tallahassee, Florida

Sunday, September 9
2:00 pm
THE SOUTHERN HOSTILITY TOUR!
Earl's Hideaway: 1405 Indian River Drive, Sebastian, Florida

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